The Skinny Knitter

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

So, sunburns eh?

The other night I was sitting on the couch knitting away when I leaned forward to grab the pattern off the table (what? Sam? Using a pattern?) I gave in JUST THIS ONE TIME. Because I've decided they aren't so evil after all. One of these years I'll post a picture of me in a sweater I designed all by myself with only a picture to go off. Then you'll believe me when I say I really do distrust patterns and make up some pretty good things on my own.

Case in point? Doggy Pi. EVIL PATTERN. Okay, so maybe it was intended for cats, but my dog is not much bigger than one. And I MIGHT have made a few modifications. Just a few.

But back to the original point....I leaned forward and hubby happened to be walking by and let out a low whistle. Wow, that's quite a sunburn you have there babe. My first though. What? And my second. Where? I mean, he could only see it when I bent forward. That's never a good sign. Sure enough I went into the bathroom and slowly bent forward looking at my reflection from in between my legs, and there is was. A bright red stripe across my back, where my shorts should've been if only I would have bothered to pull them up everytime they fell down.

He sees me examining myself in the mirror and then tells me "Your neck looks really red too, but I didn't want to say anything while our friends were over." Turns out I'm red all over and didn't have a clue. How can that be?

And then I remembered our adventures in Key West.

We went there for a getaway two years ago and had a fab time. Good food, lots of cold alcoholic drinks, and sleep. Uninterrupted sleep, actually. Which is a miraculous thing when you have a two year old. He stayed with the grandparents. Does life get any better? Apparently not, because I was punished for the next two weeks for my enjoyment.

I stopped being a chicken just long enough for us to go snorkeling on our last day there. In Key West there are all kinds of fancy schmancy boats just begging to take you out snorkeling. Choices, choices, choices. We decided on a sail boat so we could enjoy being out on the water for longer as it took a good hour and a half each way to get to the coral reef. The sun! The water! The beautiful boat! Oh, I was in heaven.

Because we had been there for a few days already, I decided if I hadn't gotten burned yet, what were the chances. Who needs dumb old sunscreen. STUPID GIRL!!! As you can probably see from my picture below I'm very fair skinned. Blindingly white actually.

There was an area in the front of the boat where there was a big square cut out and just net to make sure nobody took a dive in. You could rest your feet on the net and watch the water roll by down below. Beautiful. It was also in full sun. Did I mention I was in nothing but a swimming suit?

The trip out to the reef was beautiful. And snorkeling? Pretty dang fun. If you ever want a workout on vacation I recommend snorkeling. Who knew it was such hard work? It could also be due to the fact that I had my life vest fully freakin inflated and was battling against a water noodle. I was the only one who had the burning desire to drag one around with me. I have a serious fear of swimming after an incident when I was 5 and my swimming instructor had the need to take us to the deep end, and jump off the diving board. He swore he'd catch us, but mentioned nothing about not jumping directly on him. Needless to say he went way down under when I dive bombed him and I was left to doggy paddle to the side. Water freaks me out.

But I did actually enjoy snorkeling. Aside from the fact that I was petrified the entire time a shark would come and eat me up. And the whole hating swimming thing. Back in the boat they helped us pry off our goggles and set out cold beer & water. What a crew. About halfway back I started feeling pain. Everywhere. I had myself convinced that I must have been stung by a giant manta ray or something equally scary when it dawned on me.


Oh my god, what have I done. I could no longer enjoy dangling my feet over the water because more than a square inch of my skin would be hit by the sun's awful burning rays. By the time we pulled into shore I was huddled in the cabin writhing in pain. No. Don't. touch. me. Hubby had a smug grin on his face (he DID tell me to wear sunscreen) as I refused to change back into my normal clothes because I couldn't imagine the pain it would inflict to MOVE MY SWIMSUIT STRAP let alone take the damn thing off.

I had blisters the size of...hmm....bigger than quarters. Bigger than 1/2 dollars. Let's just say BIG. All over my body. Not pleasant. I peeled for weeks and everytime I'd get up from a chair there would be a white halo of dead skin surrounding it and floating out from under my shirt. I still have the lines from my bikini bottom on my ass. Two years later.

Now that's a sunburn.


  • At 6:00 AM, Blogger Katy said…

    Please tell me that you're going to start wearing sunscreen--every day, all over!

  • At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Stalker Angie said…

    Ewwwwww...the paaaiiiinnn. I too am fair skinned (read translucent) and burn very easily in the full Texas sun. I've gotten to where if I even think there is a possibility that I will be in the sun for more then 10 minutes I wear sunscreen. I can't even tan like normal people. I have a ruddy skin tone so I don't tan, I pink. The cycle is, burn, peel, stay pink then burn, peel again, stay darker pink. I'm afraid if I tried to tan like normal people I'd be fuschia by the end of summer. Not cute.

    Hope you have a great day!

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