The Skinny Knitter

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Rrrriiiiippppp

It's amazing what a three day migraine does to a person. It knocked me out. I managed to come into work for a few hours yesterday, but the minute I creaked in the door they took one look at me and told me to go home. I put in a few hours before heading out again. Home to lay on the couch like a slug and knit watching Martha Stewart's "Weddings I, II, III, IV & V." Now I know exactly how to put on a $100K wedding. Just what I've always wanted.

When the Mr. and I do finally tie the knot I know exactly what I want. I mean, come on people, I've had about 6 years to plan this thing in my head. I want to be wearing pink. I want frosty margarita glasses in everyone's hands (don't like em? Too bad. It's MY day) I want to dance up the aisle to Bob Marley. I want it to be a big party. And cost less than a few hundred bucks. My grandparents who are devout Mormons cringe when they hear this. Ah well, it's for us not them, right?

So we had the funeral to attend this weekend. They had his things laid all over, his car that he adored parked outside the front door. It was terribly sad to watch his childhood friends (hubby included) break down.

Because we are on the west coast, funerals are not always that formal. But because I dress up every other day of the week, I decided to wear a nice black skirt & sweater. I was knitting away on my doggy pi and didn't even notice the time until we had 10 minutes to start time. Oh crap. It was a mad dash to get dressed (check), panty hose on straight (check) and pile in the car.....uh (no check). As I was lifting my leg up to get into the damn suv we all heard a very loud RRIIIIIIIPPPPP.

Silence.

Oh shit. I slowly turned around so the carload could examine the damage. My nice Gap skirt with the respectable slit had suddenly become whore material. While everyone tried to convince me it wasn't really "that bad" I tentatively reached back for a feel. OH YES, it was too"THAT BAD." What's a girl to do? Go in jeans? In your MIL's 8 sizes too big skirt?

Or just go with the flow.

Guess which one I chose. I hiked the waist of that skirt down as low as I could and still cover it up with my sweater. It was ooohhh, right about where my hips end and my legs start. That made the slit a very respectable 4 inches or so before my ass.

I normally stay as far away from churches as possible. But I did have a slight spring in my step knowing I was shocking every person I walked by.

And the #*(&!$#&* self striping socks? Done. I'll post a picture of my little man modeling them tomorrow. He LOOOOVVVEESS them. That always makes it good fun to make things for him.

You've gotta love someone who'd wear something you made specially for them everyday if they could.

And remember that package of yarn I was telling you about picking up at the post office? Guess what I found in it that I forgot I ordered?

Self striping sock yarn.

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