They don't know that anything is sacred
Kids, that is.
Somewhere around last spring I started a cardigan for Mr. Drake. It was with fuzzy self striping yarn, which I thought I despised, but actually ended up liking. Anyway, I ran out of yarn, got tired of knitting, and ended up pregnant all right in the middle of it's construction.
The Mr. was not impressed.
When I got the urge to knit back I made myself finish that damn sweater. It took me all of 5 hours I think. I blocked, seamed, and wove in all the ends and wala....finito!!
Almost. I forgot about one small necessary item, called the zipper. He wore it for a good few weeks with the top hanging off his little shoulders because mama was a lazy ass. We finally made the treck down to JoAnns to buy the thing and I managed to buy one that didn't come apart at the end. One made for, like, pullovers or jeans. Definitely not for cardigans. So another few weeks passed and we made the second trip down to JoAnns. I managed to get the right zipper this time, and sewed it in all in one night. So what if you can't zip it all the way to the top because it's sewn on just a tad crooked up there.
He wore it with pride to school the next day. It was there that the hubby overheard a conversation between Drake, his best buddy Rishi, and the buddy's mom.
It went something along the lines of:
Drake: "Rishi! Do you see my finished sweater? I finally get to wear it!"
Rishi: "Oh, wow! Your mom finally put the zipper in?"
Drake: "Yup."
Rishi: "You mean you guys went and got a new zipper instead of the wrong one?"
Drake: "We did, and mom even sewed it in for me!!"
The hubby was about to explain this whole conversation to Rishi's mom when she proceeded to tell him how she's heard all about it. How it sat in the closet for a few months, then got finished, then needed a zipper, then the wrong zipper....etc.
Will I ever be able to show my face at his school again?!?! I mean, what other stories has he told?
In other less knitting related news, I went to my Dr. a few days ago for some pains I was having. I felt all crampy and yucky. After doing a thorough check he said I was just fine. Gee thanks....that solves the problem. He then proceeded to tell me that no matter how many kids a woman has every pregnancy is an adventure. Because women are programmed to forget certain things pertaining to the pregnancy. Not the cute little baby at the end....oh no...that's too easy.
No, they are programmed to forget all the pains, twinges, and being horribly uncomfortable with another human being stuffed in their gut.
Things like:
1. Not going poop for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, that is where the pains are coming from.
2. Your boobs weighting in at 10 pounds. Each.
3. Running to the bathroom because you have to go pee SO BAD, only to get there and have 5 drops come out. You get back to your desk and realize you really do have to go pee! Run back, wiggle around a little to get the kiddo off your bladder and ahhhh....relief.
4. Pains and twinges every freaking time you move. The doctor says round ligament pain, but common ligaments.....quit whining...will you??!!
If that isn't birth control, I don't know what is.
Somewhere around last spring I started a cardigan for Mr. Drake. It was with fuzzy self striping yarn, which I thought I despised, but actually ended up liking. Anyway, I ran out of yarn, got tired of knitting, and ended up pregnant all right in the middle of it's construction.
The Mr. was not impressed.
When I got the urge to knit back I made myself finish that damn sweater. It took me all of 5 hours I think. I blocked, seamed, and wove in all the ends and wala....finito!!
Almost. I forgot about one small necessary item, called the zipper. He wore it for a good few weeks with the top hanging off his little shoulders because mama was a lazy ass. We finally made the treck down to JoAnns to buy the thing and I managed to buy one that didn't come apart at the end. One made for, like, pullovers or jeans. Definitely not for cardigans. So another few weeks passed and we made the second trip down to JoAnns. I managed to get the right zipper this time, and sewed it in all in one night. So what if you can't zip it all the way to the top because it's sewn on just a tad crooked up there.
He wore it with pride to school the next day. It was there that the hubby overheard a conversation between Drake, his best buddy Rishi, and the buddy's mom.
It went something along the lines of:
Drake: "Rishi! Do you see my finished sweater? I finally get to wear it!"
Rishi: "Oh, wow! Your mom finally put the zipper in?"
Drake: "Yup."
Rishi: "You mean you guys went and got a new zipper instead of the wrong one?"
Drake: "We did, and mom even sewed it in for me!!"
The hubby was about to explain this whole conversation to Rishi's mom when she proceeded to tell him how she's heard all about it. How it sat in the closet for a few months, then got finished, then needed a zipper, then the wrong zipper....etc.
Will I ever be able to show my face at his school again?!?! I mean, what other stories has he told?
In other less knitting related news, I went to my Dr. a few days ago for some pains I was having. I felt all crampy and yucky. After doing a thorough check he said I was just fine. Gee thanks....that solves the problem. He then proceeded to tell me that no matter how many kids a woman has every pregnancy is an adventure. Because women are programmed to forget certain things pertaining to the pregnancy. Not the cute little baby at the end....oh no...that's too easy.
No, they are programmed to forget all the pains, twinges, and being horribly uncomfortable with another human being stuffed in their gut.
Things like:
1. Not going poop for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, that is where the pains are coming from.
2. Your boobs weighting in at 10 pounds. Each.
3. Running to the bathroom because you have to go pee SO BAD, only to get there and have 5 drops come out. You get back to your desk and realize you really do have to go pee! Run back, wiggle around a little to get the kiddo off your bladder and ahhhh....relief.
4. Pains and twinges every freaking time you move. The doctor says round ligament pain, but common ligaments.....quit whining...will you??!!
If that isn't birth control, I don't know what is.
posted by Sam @ 9:50 AM
4 Comments:
At 5:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh, don't you love what children say? And you have to show us a picture of the sweater, I would love to see it.
Hope you feel better soon. Those round ligiment stretching HURT! hugs!
At 5:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh, don't you love what children say? And you have to show us a picture of the sweater, I would love to see it.
Hope you feel better soon. Those round ligiment stretching HURT! hugs!
At 8:50 PM,
goodkarma said…
You don't want to know how much your kid's teachers know about you... haha!! Especially the little ones... they tell the funniest stories! But seriously, I think it's so sweet that Drake is telling his buddies all about his sweater; it shows how important it is to him and how much he was looking forward to wearing it. Take care!
At 1:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
A belated congratulations on your pregnancy!!!! And, selfishly, if the rest of your blog entries about your pregnancy are as funny as the last few, I will certainly be enjoying the ride (well, more than you will, apparently).
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